by Lorinda K. F. Newton

“Hey, Funk! You stinky skunk and a pile of junk!” taunted one of my classmates as he tipped over my desk, dumping its contents on the floor. This teasing continued for months, and my third-grade teacher never came to my rescue. Eventually, my parents stepped in. They gave me the option to change classrooms, but I was afraid to midyear.

My husband also experienced bullying as a nerdy kid. Therefore, one of the reasons we chose to homeschool was to protect our children from bullying. Later I learned that for some, the only way to avoid bullying is either to never leave home or confront it and train our children how to deal with a bully.

Homeschooled Bullies

When we started homeschooling our then kindergarten-aged son in 2004, I enrolled him in a weekly YMCA homeschool swimming class for PE. At age six, my son had to use the men’s locker room.

Towel snapping and snatching became common among the young boys after swim class. I complained to the YMCA staff, but they said they couldn’t have a staff member supervising the boys’ behavior. So, halfway through his first-grade year, I withdrew my son from the program and moved to a homeschool co-op for a PE class. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, “Homeschool Co-ops: Are they worth it?,” my son experienced bullying there also. Socially immature, he was an easy target.

The co-op leadership handled the conflict poorly. Not being able to improve the situation, we moved on to another co-op where my then sixth-grade son fared much better.

Bullies Are Everywhere

Your family may not augment your homeschool with outside classes, but that doesn’t mean your children will be immune to bullying. Sadly, it can happen anywhere—sports teams, community activities, and even at church. Wherever children gather into large groups, a pecking order forms.

In today’s digital age, bullies also lurk online. Although bullying is as old as the hills, cyberbullying has raised it to a new level. Once home provided a safe haven. Now, bullies can reach their victims 24/7 through electronic devices.

Sticks and Stones

So, what should parents do? Some say kids need to develop coping skills without their parents rescuing them. I oscillated between that idea and the desire to referee between my son and other children. 

However, both anecdotal and statistical evidence shows that bullying can severely affect children. Adults must stop bullying as soon as it starts. For sticks and stones may break their bones, but words can scar the soul.

Effects of Bullying

 Victims of bullying can suffer from anxiety, sleep disturbances, and hypervigilance. In such a condition, children can’t learn. In anger and frustration, they can also turn around and bully others.

My son not only because depressed but also questioned his faith. “Why would God allow kids from Christian homes harass him? Why would Christian co-op leaders blame him for the bullying?”

Teens can be particularly cruel. For instance, a friend’s daughter recently lost a track team member to suicide. This girl had been bullied at her public high school and was told to kill herself. She did.

Thus, if you believe homeschooling will protect your children from bullying, think again. You, as a parent, will be called on to nip bullying in the bud at times. In addition, you must instruct your children, as either victims or bystanders, on how to gracefully and wisely handle a bully. You also need to train them not to become bullies themselves. These skills will benefit them throughout their lives. For bullies exist in the adult world as well.

The World’s Remedy

The government’s solution to bullying is to develop “moral engagement.” This is defined as “a person’s commitment to positive social interactions and thoughtful care of others.”

The website stopbullying.gov also encourages adult intervention. They add that authority figures should reinforce the “humanity and intrinsic worth” of the victim.

But since American mainstream culture has shifted from a biblical worldview to a secular one, how can those with a relativistic worldview promote the “humanity and intrinsic worth” of others? The public schools teach evolution, which states we are all an accident. Do accidents have value?

Need a Biblical Worldview

Only the biblical worldview offers the remedy. To stop bullying, people must recognize that all people are made in the image of God. As God’s image bearers, we all have value no matter what “defects” a bully might see in us. Moreover, only through the power of the Holy Spirit will individuals have the moral strength to treat people with dignity and grace. Unfortunately, as long as some people reject God, bullying will continue.

We live in a sinful world. Protect your children when you can, but also give them the tools on how to relate to difficult people. For practical ideas, see the resources below. But more importantly, teach them to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them. A bully needs Jesus in his life. Also, steer your children away from picking on others. Encourage them to stand up for the oppressed—because all are made in the image of God.

Resources

51 Critical Cyber Bullying Statistics in 2019

I found this article reader-friendly, and its graphics helpful to quickly understand the bullying problem. It even addresses bullying among adults online.

Cyberbullying Research Center

A clearinghouse of statistics, handouts, articles, and more.

stopbullying.gov

This government site addresses childhood and teen bullying from various angles. In addition to traditional in-person bullying, the site also covers cyberbullying, prevention for schools and in the greater community, and a list of resources for people to further educate themselves on the subject.

The Protectors

• Focus on the Family recommends this anti-bullying curriculum company. They offer both a faith-based and public school curriculum that focuses on empowering the bystander to step in and stop bullying.

Focus on the Family

From a Christian perspective, Focus offers several resources.

• Fast Facts & Talking Points on Bullying in Schools includes end notes
• Bullies series
• Cyber Bullying
• Many podcasts and books on bullying also available.

©2019 Lorinda K.F. Newton. All rights reserved.

K.F. Newton began homeschooling her children in 2004, and her family joined Academy Northwest in 2014. Her family lives on beautiful Whidbey Island north of Seattle, Washington. She writes about faith, culture, and governing from a biblical worldview at Lorinda’s Ponderings and Lorinda’s Ponderings on Facebook.