by Lorinda K. F. Newton
A mug of water rotates in the microwave as Kathy selects a teabag. Sitting at the dining room table, her older kids work on their language arts assignments while her toddler naps. Ah, time to relax a little and soothe the throat with hot liquid after reading aloud for an hour.
“Mommy, Mommy! Up!” The little one cries, breaking your contemplation.
As she picks up her child, she notices an odor. “Sarah, you’re poopy. Let’s go change you.”
Heading down the hall, she hears, “Stop kicking me!”
“You kicked me first!”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Grace! Isaiah! Stop fighting and do you work!” hollers Kathy as she plunks Sarah on the changing table.
After a diaper change and tucking the toddler back into bed, she returns to the dining room to find Grace and Isaiah still bickering. She redirects them to their assignments. Next, the phone rings. A friend called to ask if she could swap Sunday school childcare dates. The friend chats for a while then finally gets off the phone. Now to a relaxing cup of tea!
“Mom! The dog threw up on the rug!” Grace hollers.
Letting out a massive sigh, Kathy grabs the paper towels and a spray bottle and mops up the mess.
Finally, she returns to the kitchen to retrieve the mug from the microwave. The water is cold. Kathy places it back in to reheat it, blows her bangs out of her face, and leans against the wall. Oh, how I need a break!
All moms need breaks from their offspring. Moms who home educate their kids need them even more because they’re with their kids 24/7.
When teaching your own children, you often deal with more conflicts and power struggles than you would have if you delegated your children’s education to the neighborhood school. These confrontations drain you of energy. Planning lessons, teaching, and keeping house can wear you down. To be a great mom and teacher, you need to find ways to refuel.
Creative Mom Time
Early in my home education experience, I read that educating my children was a marathon, not a sprint. The author stressed the need to pace oneself. As a type-A person, I struggled to follow that advice. I like to dive into a project with full energy and often wear myself out.
Fortunately, a close friend, Jen, started a scrapbooking night when my son was still a toddler. Each Thursday evening, I could escape the responsibilities of motherhood and instructor and just hang out with my girlfriends and enjoy a time to be creative with photos and paper.
My husband Doug recognized my need for regular breaks from our only child, who had an intense desire to interact with mom and had no playmates in the neighborhood. So, Doug always encouraged me to attend scrapbook night even when I didn’t feel up to it. I never regretted going.
Although the other women quit coming after a few years, Jen kept her home open for me to scrapbook each week for over a dozen years. Occasionally, she wouldn’t even be home, but she supplied me with a key to let myself in. Often, this mom’s time was the highlight of my week. My conversations with Jen and the fun of capturing family memories on paper rejuvenated me.
Time to Rejuvenate
You may not enjoy crafts or have a friend nearby who lets you have a quiet place at her home, but to be a good mom and teacher for your children, you need to find regular time to rejuvenate yourself. Otherwise, that yellow bus becomes more and more tempting as you burn out. Here are a few ideas:
Pursue a Hobby
Just as I had my weekly scrapbooking break, perhaps you have a hobby you’d like to pursue. Maybe you enjoy jogging with friends or participating in a book club. Perhaps you sew or want to go birdwatching.
Moms’ Night (or Morning) Out
Hopefully, your night out is less adventurous than the movie. Meet up weekly with one or a few friends for coffee where you can talk and enjoy one another’s company. Join a women’s Bible study. Morning ones often have childcare for younger children. I attended one until my oldest reached fourth grade.
Remain Connected to Your Work World
As I got to know other moms at the home education cooperatives my children attended, I discovered that many of them had careers such as nursing, finance, or software development before they chose to stay home to educate their children. These weren’t stereotypical housewives but women who had professions.
If you left a fulfilling career to teach your children at home, perhaps you can still practice it in a limited way. I knew nurses who only worked a few hours a month. By doing so, they kept up their credentials and had time in the adult world.
As a copy editor, I’ve picked up freelance work from time to time. Such work is fun for me and breaks up the home routine.
Learn Something New
Take a class from your local parks and recreation center. Learn to play an instrument by watching YouTube. Study a topic that intrigues you. Check out books from the library or find information online. Just make sure to keep a weekly date with yourself for this project and guard that time on your calendar. Explain to your family that this is mom’s special time, even if you stay home to do the activity.
Volunteer
Pick an organization you’re passionate about. The idea is to find an activity that fills you with energy, not drain you. Maybe you love gardening, and you can offer to help an elderly neighbor with her yard. Provide a helping hand at your local food bank or soup kitchen. Fundraise for a local music or theater group.
Find something that you enjoy, ask your husband or a friend to watch the kids, and weekly re-create yourself. After the break, you can use your renewed energy to be patient with your children, whether it be family time or school time. That will make you a better mom, a better teacher, and your children, in turn, better students.
Lorinda K.F. Newton began homeschooling her children in 2004, and her family joined Academy Northwest in 2014. Her family lives on beautiful Whidbey Island north of Seattle, Washington. She writes about faith, culture, and governing from a biblical worldview at Lorinda’s Ponderings and Lorinda’s Ponderings on Facebook.
